Category: Blogging

A Quick Update (and a Detour?)

I miss writing.

Time, vision, focus, and motivation have all been in short supply in the past several years. Life has been full of fast balls, curve balls…and I don’t know any more kinds of pitches, but it feels like we’ve experienced most of them! Writing has been a way that I can “hit the ball” thrown at me, and put it in its proper place. I can think about the circumstance, the challenge, the struggle. I can observe it, ask myself what effect it is having on me, hold it up against the truth of Scripture, and speak Truth to myself as I encounter it — whatever “it” may be.

Writing through challenges has been helpful for me, and I hope helpful for whoever reads what I write, as I have always tried to bring hard things back to the hope-giving promises of God. These past years, I have still been here encountering and observing and clinging to His promises. But I have not given myself the space or permission to write.

Writing is a way for me to process my life. But life circumstances and personal choices have gotten in the way of allowing myself the time and space and platform to write. I have largely stepped away from social media, which has been overall a positive decision. But it comes with some downfalls, one of which being that I can’t utilize my social media space to write as I have in the past.

Furthermore, I’m not comfortable broadcasting the deeper struggles of my children, of my family, and of my own heart because I feel the responsibility to walk a line of vulnerability while still protecting the privacy of those I love. These are the things I long to write about because they are the things I need to process. But I am not willing because I feel I have neither the right nor the freedom to do so. So, I don’t write.

But I miss writing.

Where does that leave me?

I’ve decided to use my blog space as a place to write. But for now, I am going to write about more superficial things. I thought it would be fun to focus on some insights that we have learned over the years of traveling as a family. From time to time, I have had questions about certain activities and have not always been able to find the specific answers I was looking for via google (whether it be on TripAdvisor, Reddit, or local forums). So, my plan is to share some tips about those situations so that I can satisfy my desire to write while also hopefully adding some value to the internet.

Hopefully my words may be useful to someone who may be searching for those answers. But also, I hope it will be helpful to me. I want to write, so I am going to make space and time to write. Not necessarily to process deep things, but to give myself an outlet and a space to use my voice. Thanks for hanging in there with me.

My heart. The need. My aim. My plan.

It’s no secret that I love adoption. Orphan care is near and dear to me. I will champion the cause of adoption all the live long day.

But it’s also no secret (at least to those of us who live in adoption), that adoption is messy. And beautiful. And wonderful. And so hard. And so worth it.

I could speak here about the doctrine of adoption, God’s longsuffering with us, His Father-love for us as his children, grafted in by the blood of Jesus. But I think I will reserve that for another day and another post. It deserves its own spotlight, and has so much to teach us about our Good, Good Father.

But right now, I am talking about human adoption. Taking a child who was not born to you and bringing them into your family as though they were born to you. It is a miracle. The ability to do this is truly a work of God.

How I am able to love another woman’s child just as I love my own blood is a beautiful, messy miracle. And I do it with joy, not by my own will-power, but by the supernatural work of God’s strength and love in me.

For years now, I have felt a deep need for Biblical encouragement for moms like me. “Moms in the muddle.” In the trenches of adoption-life. This road has unique challenges that few can understand without being in it yourself. Our kids come from uniquely hard places. Which is why my heart is to encourage moms like me. Because I know I need it, too!!

The problem I’ve found, though, is that many of the resources geared toward parenting are either just not quite on the mark for parents of “kids from hard places” OR they are devoid of Biblical truth. I appreciate good strategies for parenting adopted kids. And I appreciate Biblically sound parenting books. I’ve read several great ones, and profited from many.

But why can’t we marry the two? We believe that the Bible is true. And 2 Timothy 3:16-17 says that, “All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work.” So why separate things? We need good, Biblical resources that help us to counsel our own hearts and parent our kids (specifically our adopted or foster kids) better.

There is something to be said for having someone who “gets it” speaking into your life with practical, Biblical truth. We all–and I am speaking to myself here!–need to be reminded daily of how the word of God informs our lives and parenting. How Christ is sufficient for our specific challenges and difficulties.

So my heart is for moms like me. And I guess I could say my aim is to speak to myself (and anyone else who will listen) with the truth of the Gospel and how it can practically inform our everyday struggles, especially as adoptive parents. God’s word can and will equip us as parents to, by God’s Grace, meet the unique needs of our unique children.

My mind and heart have been on this issue for years now. I’ve thought countless times about how I could approach this in a helpful way, and not seem like I’m floundering in a sea of not knowing how to say what I want to say. So I’ve continued to wait until the time was right and the plan was clear.

A few weeks ago, I asked Ryan, “Do you think I should start a blog?” Being the ever-encouraging husband that he is, without missing a beat he replied, “Absolutely, yes!” With such a loving vote of confidence, how could I refuse? 🙂 But I had no idea what to write about, and wanted a clear topic and plan. So my next question for him was, “What should I write about?” And because he knows my heart so well, he immediately suggested I write from this perspective that I have been parked in for years now. He has helped me to develop this plan to express my heart for moms like me with my aim of Biblical encouragement in mind. He is a very patient, very good man.

Well there. I got it out. That is my heart, my aim, my plan. If you are, like me, seeking refreshment from the Word for your weary mama-soul, while caring for children with needs that drive you to your knees out of love and desperation at the same time, then I hope you will come and see what God’s Word has for us. My perspective will be as a parent, and may often deal with issues that are specific to adoption and adoptive parenting. But no matter your circumstance, I pray that you may be encouraged; even if you are a parent of only biological children, a parent with adult children, or not a parent at all! The Gospel is good news to all of us at all times. Let’s rejoice in the truth of God’s word together!

…and sweet will be the flower

For several years, I have had a yearning to write more often and in more focused ways. In an attempt to be gentle with myself, 2017 brought with it a goal to simply “write more.” That didn’t work. Granted, I had a bitty baby, so I will cut myself some slack.

Now 2018 has arrived, and I have decided to be a little less vague with my goal to “write more.” I thought choosing a topic and actually starting a platform might both encourage me and drive me to truly “write more.”

So here it is!

My title is a snippet from a hymn that we sing in church. It is an old hymn, written by William Cowper, that Sovereign Grace Music has revived. Since the words are public domain, I am including them for you here.

God moves in a mysterious way
His wonders to perform;
He plants His footsteps in the sea
And rides upon the storm.

Deep in unfathomable mines
Of never failing skill
He treasures up His bright designs
And works His sovereign will.

Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take;
The clouds ye so much dread
Are big with mercy and shall break
In blessings on your head.

Judge not the Lord by feeble sense,
But trust Him for His grace;
Behind a frowning providence
He hides a smiling face.

His purposes will ripen fast,
Unfolding every hour;
The bud may have a bitter taste,
But sweet will be the flower.

Blind unbelief is sure to err
And scan His work in vain;
God is His own interpreter,
And He will make it plain.

One of the more recent times I sat down to write was for a short article I wrote as a guest post on a friend’s blog. It was a few years ago already. I will share that again here soon after I reformat it for this website, as I think that blog is no longer online. Anyhow, I wrote on the topic of sanctification. I come back to that theme in my life many, many days. It’s something I think about often. While this hymn, titled, “God Moves in a Mysterious Way,” is much about how God’s ways are perfect and cannot be known (and that in itself is something to ponder at length!!), I love the little hint here in this line of His sanctifying work in us.

The bud may have a bitter taste,
But sweet will be the flower.

Sometimes He sanctifies us with sweetness. Many times, with pain. Circumstances may taste bitter, yet we have the beautiful hope that the sweet flower is coming. His refining fire works for our good and His glory.

My aim in writing here is to encourage myself and other moms who are, as I say, living life “in the muddle.” Life is messy, but let’s not try to to preoccupy ourselves with that. Not to dwell on the bitter tastes that we all may experience, but instead to see them as a means through which He changes us into His image, producing a sweet flower. We can have hope that He will complete His work in us.

More on the focus of my writing will come soon, but for now I just wanted to dip my toe in and hopefully encourage you with the words of this great hymn. See you soon!